The past weekend was the HWS Orientation for the class of 2021, and for a second I almost regret my decision to study abroad this upcoming fall.
This sentiment was, is, by all means ridiculous. It's my FOMO acting up. One of my greatest vices for sure, besides my passion for reality TV and a good happy hour deal. I spent the weekend with friends and traveling. By all means it was a good weekend. Yet, part of me could not help like I was missing out. The truth is I did not miss much.
Every Orientation is a unique experience. I saw the snaps and grams, and I felt assured that I was not missing too much. I was an Orientation Mentor last summer and it was one of the funniest times ever. The week of training was draining, but when I got my microphone and foam finger, the game was changed.
I was the unofficial mascot of Orientation 2016! I was posting everyday on social media, trying to spark the dismal presence of the Class of '20 on Facebook.
From falling off the stage, to dancing on tables, and helping the social media mangers, I was in every vein of Orientation. This is why I felt like I was missing out. I felt like there was a space, my space, that was being forgotten. The truth is I am what made that role special.
There will always be that uber-excited OM that wants to do everything. There will always be the OLs enjoying their power trip. There will always be awesome, and piece of shit, freshmen to meet. I just happened to have been lucky that my group and partner were gems.
The hardest thing was, and has been, being without my Posse these past few days. At the end of the day, this is the group that I came in with and that I plan to leave with.
It's also been hard seeing that some amazing people who I got to meet this past year I will not be seeing. I feel as though the relationships I began cultivating have been stunted. Hopefully, this is just my FOMO and paranoia acting up.
As I sit down I think about how my FOMO acts up all the time. In fact, my FOMO is the reason I chose to study abroad in the fall.
With all the "new" things happening it would have been sensory overload for me. Forget the social butterfly, I am like a social wasp. I am flying around building nests and stinging everyone I can find. In reality, this is why I burn out and my work and relationships suffer. This last year was definitely better than my first, but not without its, "Oh shit I just did that," moments.
Luckily, I am giving myself a semester away from all the stimuli at HWS. More importantly, I am creating space to consider how to return as a better Will. Instead of being the Will glued to Snapchat on Saturday night, I want to be a version of myself proud of my work ethic and my close knit of friends. Having a squad may be great for some, but I am at the point now where I value the real people that I can call at 10 PM to watch Ru Paul's Drag Race and order Dominoe's Pizza.
Sure the U.K. is going to be lively, but my focus is on beating my FOMO. I want to come back and be the scene instead of trying to find it.